Sweetheart.

I will spit in the eye of the next person who calls me this.  I hear your shock, your question, "why the rather extreme reaction to this innocuous little pet-name, you raving lunatic?" Well, I will answer you - where you see a harmless term of endearment, I see a lasso thrown to entangle one's feet and bring one to the ground, vulnerable and easily manipulated. 

I live on a quiet street, mostly populated by friends, teachers, university lecturers, old people and children who play in the street, waving to me whenever I pass by in one of my frequent strolls. This peace has become fractured by some young men in silly white Holden utes who have taken residence in a silly blue house.  Initially, their little escapades seemed humorous, instances to feel deliciously scandalised over, "P, you will never guess..." I have oft said, "...those guys from down the street nearly ran me over today as they careened around the corner, slowed down to wolf whistle and then burned rubber up their driveway! (Yes, this is exactly how I speak in real life) How very rude, how very exciting! *giggle, giggle, giggle*".

If this had remained the level of intrusion then I would certainly not be on my soap box now, but alas, without my encouragement, this behaviour has escalated and is now threatening to break the bones of this little community.  Recently, I was walking past this silly blue house when I had the misfortune to actually find myself in a one sided conversation with these buffoons, "Hey sweetie!" He hollers, "we live here, come visit whenever you like." I remain mute and unresponsive.  Sweetie - only ladies in shops call be that and so this seemed rather curious, funny even.  I did not perceive the danger then.

Today, I am making my way down the street, thinking deeply about the Vietnam War and therefore without my armourment of smart arse witticisms, when I hear the approach of a car.  I make my way to the left sidewalk, not taking my eyes off the road in front of me, nor my mind from the jungles of northern Indo-China.  I continue on for a meter, mayhaps two, when I realise the hum of the car's engine is still behind me.  I whip my head around (crowned with a brilliant new haircut - utterly irrelevant but it makes me happy) where I see a tattooed elbow hanging from the low window of a silly white Holden ute.  My gaze flits to the head belonging to said elbow and finds the mirrored stare of a pair of Oakley sunglasses.  "How you doin' sweetheart?" I smile before I can stop myself. I stammer, "well thank you" and I kick myself internally, damn my knee jerk good manners.  I try to salvage the situation, ignore them bluntly. They drive off around the next corner and wait for me by the entrance of their driveway.  I round the corner and they spot me in their rear mirror, I can now be regaled by their screaming tyres as they speed up to their house.  They have barely climbed out of that silly white Holden ute when one of them lights a firecracker that rips the cheerful birdsong with its loud BAM PEEEEEEEEEEW!!!!!  Neighbours come pouring out of their front doors and witness the climbing red light and the smoke trail.  They click their tongues, shake their heads and roll their eyes. 

The saga continues.  My pride forbids my return, I will finish my walk.  "How ya going sweetie? You should come over sweetheart.  You know sweetie, when you are walking by and you are feeling dry, come up for (the rhyming falters but I guess it was a good effort) a beer sweetie." "No thank you," I say, "frick" I think.  "You won't forget sweetheart, you can come over whenever."

Bastard!!!!!! I doubt that these men would have sat down to explicitly plot this line of action but they have exhibited an aptitude for belittlement.  With one, lovely little word they can so diminish a person so that they forget their equal standing.  'Sweetheart' denotes affection and affirmation, a brilliant disguise for the stealthy intention to control another for self seeking pleasure. Well, I declare myself immune.  This will no longer work on me. So they can keep their 'sweeties' and their 'sweethearts' and if they are not careful I will also tell them where to keep it.

S.